Insecurities, Low self esteem and Body positivity

"If you talked to your friends the way you spoke to your body, you'd have no friends left"

Every girl has self esteem issues. Whether it be one thing they hate about themselves or 100. I've had self esteem issues since I can remember. And this isn't an unusual feeling, its quite common. People tend to care too much about what people think of them (I am extremely guilty of this) and any nice comment that comes their way is knocked back:

"Oh she's just saying that because she doesn't want to upset me"

"Why wont they just say what they are really thinking?"

"I may look okay today but she looks beautiful everyday"

"She's saying that because she has to"

"That's bullshit and she knows it"

The closer the person is to you the more people ignore the compliment. I used to do this a lot. In my eyes I wasn't being negative I was being realistic. I was just facing up to facts and it never really bothered me. However, my views have recently changed. For the past three years I have been watching "My mad fat diary" - a Programme on E4 about a girl called Rea, she in the past had mental health issues and is now back at school and has gained new friends. I think that most girls can relate to at least one character in the show. For myself , I relate to Rea, never the pretty one.

In one episodes Rea had a conversation with her councilor about herself. He told her to tell her younger self the things she tells herself today. She reacted badly and said she couldn't. You cant tell a child she's fat or ugly or needs make-up. Her councilor then told her that if she couldn't tell her younger self things like that then she shouldn't tell her self things like that now. 

So i ended up trying out this technique and kind of changed it slightly. I imagined my two nieces and thought of the things I say to them:

"You will never need to wear make-up because you're beautiful without it"

"If somebody doesn't like you for who you are then they aren't worth it"

"Always be yourself because you're fab how you are"

"You don't have to wear make up and have your hair nice and be in love to be a princess"

"It doesn't matter what people think of you its what you think of yourself that counts"

And then I said these things to myself and I just thought that this is what my auntie or my mum must have said to me. And I didn't listen and I hope to god that my nieces do. So I take it in and somehow it makes me feel a bit better, I like myself a bit more. I don't know whether I'm getting my point across or not but what I mean is find ways that make you like yourself that little bit more. You would never tell your younger self or somebody you love the things you say about yourself so why do you need to do it? Love yourself. How can you expect others to love you if you don't love yourself? This often said but never taken in. All very cliche, cringey things to say but doesn't mean they aren't true.

I realise this all sounds very cheesy and its easier said than done but I promise you, the happier you are with yourself... the happier you are in your everyday life. I strongly recommend watching "My mad fat diary", it really has changed my view on body positivity. And anyone who knows me personally, knows that I am the most negative person ever, so this is a massive change.

Its okay to dislike something about your body but it is also okay to love something about your body.

I'll leave you with this slam poem by a youtuber called Savannah Brown called "What guys look for in girls"

Hope this has helped anyone in any way what so ever. So please comment and let me know whether this has helped you, what advice you have for other girls with self esteem issues and also if you enjoyed this post. Please share this post to your friends so more people can love who they are and feel body positive.

Cassie x